Copper Wires
by kellykpc
Summary: A symbolic act to liberate herself from an emotional prison, but also... to honor the will of her beloved protector and Gin.


**Forgive any mistakes, English is not my native language.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.**

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><p>Piles of papers were accumulated on her desk, probably important documents that she should take care. But it did not seem to matter very much at that moment. Actually, for Matsumoto, the responsibilities she had to do as a Fukutaichou were just bullshit to mess up her day and reason to Hitsugaya Taichou pick on. But at that particular moment, not just the roles seemed unimportant... but everything.<p>

She continued with the hellish butterfly perched on her finger for countless minutes, watching as the black antennae fidgeted again and again so it could be freed soon. Freedom... Matsumoto did not feel much different from the restless butterfly on her hand. All she wanted was one more chance to get rid of all those feelings, all that pain that just the sight of his face in her memoirs brought. The taste of sake still lasted on her lips, the almost empty bottle in her hand, but the effect now became so weak against those emotions that she now thought that no alcohol could console her enough.

_Gin..._ She sighed with regret and directed her eyes to orange dusk sky, trying to focus her mind on the beauty of that moment to drive away the tears. But it was useless. Everything seemed pointless.

"_Matsumoto!_" She jumped with the cry of her Taichou and tried to immediately try to give an innocent look to reprimand that would surely lead, but her eyes betrayed her and a tear ran an improper way down her face. Hitsugaya gasped when saw her and seemed embarrassed by the situation. He had found Matsumoto in too many situations, many of them embarrassing, but none like that. "You... You're okay?"

"Of course I am!" She wiped her tears and quickly jumped to her feet, smiling exaggeratedly. "Don't worry, Taichou, I was going to take care of those papers!"

"Matsumoto..." he looked her analytically for a few seconds, but then looked away with a sigh. "No need. I got this, you can stay with the rest of the day free."

Under normal circumstances, Matsumoto would have jumped of happiness and crushed her Taichou in an embrace in the middle of her breasts, but all she did was nod silently and leave the Bantai with a lump in her throat. _Pathetic,_ cursed herself. Why did she cry in front of someone, especially her Taichou? Why did she demonstrate feel so much by someone that, in the eyes of all, was... a traitor?

_Gin..._ she looked skyward and hugged herself, as if it was hard to stay standing alone. _During that time, all I've done is wonder why you did what you did... but I never found an answer. Well, it was not like I could ever understand your thoughts, right? You've always been a mystery. Since the day we met, I could never guess what was going through your head, or the reason for you to act as acted. Now could not be different. But... despite the mysterious smile, the eyes narrow and cold, the poisonous words... I always trusted you. I always felt right beside you. Comfortable, warm... happy. Even if I wanted to, I never could see you as an enemy, never. But I can not tell if it's because I knew you too much... or knew little. _

_No... You could be considered even a monster by the others, but I know you're not. You always did good things for me, always took care of me even from a distance... always said me kind words... _

_"You have very pretty hair"_ the voice of Gin resurfaced in his mind, through that little memory. Matsumoto smiled and allowed her mind to wander by that keepsake. The two sitting together on the outskirts of Rukongai, before a sunset just like that, sharing a single piece of bread to contain insatiable hunger that stemmed from high reaitsu. Matsumoto remembered have blushed with his words, but secretly she was proud of it. So much, that from that day she left it grow to Gin to continue praise her. But after time passed and they parted, it ceased to be important. Let her hair grow longer lost its meaning. But later, much later, in Seireitei, she strolled usually before him with her newly cut hair and was surprised by his reaction. Of course he would always have one his quiet and relaxed way to say the things, but still she would not forget that day.

_"Oh, why did you do that? I liked her long hair."_

_"Well, change a little is good" she retorted, pouting. "Do you think I'm not good like that?"_

_"You are beautiful anyway" he laughed more openly to her, but then he sighed and looked enigmatic and mysterious way. "But a change is only required... for a new start."_

Matsumoto considered the memory for a moment and then smiled, wondering if Gin had planned those words for that particular moment. As he planned not to leave even a meager keepsake to preserve his memory. He knew her. He knew she did not get over him, if she had something of him to cling to... and he knew she needed a fresh start.

_He wanted her to move on. _

Matsumoto drew her zampakutou on a ceremonious silence and then, passing the cold blade behind the neck, she cut her hair in a unique and precise movement. Heavy copper wires fell at her feet in soft waves, and the last sunshine seemed to revere that time to determine its meaning. Matsumoto looked up to the sky, a tear glistening on her skin, and smiled when she saw the hellish butterfly flying through the air in erratic and hasty curves. But _free_.

_I'm free too._ She closed her eyes and imagined the face she loved so much in her mind. His narrow eyes, his silver hair falling over his face, his peaceful and enigmatic smile... and his warm gaze that only she received. _For you, I'll move on... _

_Gin..._

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><p><strong>And that is my version of why Matsumoto appears with the cut hair after Aizen saga :3<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed! **

**Please review!**


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